I'm back!

I miss here lotsss.
it has been a place where I can share everything and tell anything without considering.
haha. without considering? haha. I actually haven't reach it yet. I'm looking forward in the future! =)

and what I want to post today are things that already happened few weeks or months ago.

first, college.
it's really kind of stupid thing that I thought both of us have the feel to each other. it's really stupid man!! I shouldn't make any expectation on you before knowing you well.
and now, after I've been gone through "something" in this few weeks, I've just perceived that it's not the feeling of like or love.
I know, I felt so helpless and depressed at that time. perhaps I couldn't get well for the changes around me. he is a really nice person and treat other as well too. so, accidentally I put the wrong feeling on this friend. I realised, I just want someone to accompany and always be my side and support me when I need. I thought he is the one who can bring me out from the past. silly.
it's a good thing for me that I've discovered my silliness now. finally. finally after the incident which I wanted to write the next.
so now, I just want to be friends with him. he is a really good friend to know! really. I should protect our friendship from all the rumours. it shouldn't be rumour anymore, be normal from now on. I want to appreciate this friend as well as I could in the future!
friends are always the best.

second, Jeffrey's farewell party night.
Jeff and Nian are now in Russia where in the other pole of Earth.
I'm gonna miss both of you sooo much! and please do take care of yourself k.
and Jeff! remember what you said, focus and put effort on study first. smile always!
and Nian! remember our memories that can cheer you up in there and don't eat too much ya. you might gain weight. smile always!

yes. the night.
I met those I miss lots, my wer, my friends. I had had fun and enjoyed. and I finally took a picture with Jeff for the first time. I like the pic soo much. appreciate it. then, we stayed overnight at Jeff's house and had some alcohol. Zhen brought a bottle of Vodka and it really killed me. I'd drunk.
drunk. first time.
I think I were in a half-conscious condition and I could still remember a little on what I did.
I remember I cried like hell. tears burst. totally collapsed. because of someone who always leave me just like that and doesn't even confront the things with me. I hated you didn't do anything. I hated the way you solve things. I hated you like flirting. yes. I hated. that's way I collapsed in front of my friends. it's tortureous. really. realised that I haven't completely put it down. I don't wish to. it seems like a heavy stone that bind me so tight. I don't like it's still hovering in my mind.
tell you, I want to get rid of this. WE ARE MORE SUITABLE TO BE FRIEND. forever and it will never beyond it. you always promise things easily but you don't even accomplish each of them. please change your attitude and behave well. han

third, myself.
I've got lotsssssss of thing have to do but I'm still doing some less-important stuff here.
book review presentation for GP subject will be on Monday. and I still haven't prepared anything yet. really have lotss of thing I should be complete. I chose a novel called FALLEN. it's really thick man but really nice! luckily I've finished reading it on time. but i'm now doing stupid thing, I intended to read it all again to go in more deeper. do I have enough time to complete all the things?! =( bless, pray and wish me luck please. =( please wish me. I'm really nervous about the presentation. reason - haven't well-prepared it yet!

and study. the final test is just left a month more. I got lotssssss of thing from different subjects have to study!!! I have lack of time but I can still use the time for sleeping and do other things. hey ching, please. please arrange your time well. it's for the one last chance for this year. make a good result! I want to see your improvements in all the subjects!
make a promise. after the presentation on monday, I WILL START OF DOING REVISION AND STUDY AS WELL.
this month will be a busy month for me.
has no enough time for me to think about other things now but only study! jiayou!
look forward and keep going.
putttttttttt moreeeeee effortttttttt!!!

diligence will pay off! =)




love, ching